The number one question about the Asian Woman/White Man couple is WHY?
I studied this issue at length, and I still don't really know the answer.
The answer is complex, and there is no single answer for every couple you see. It is almost impossible to generalize about such widespread group of people. I have some ideas, but I still don't know. I think some of the reasons apply to some people and others apply to other people.
Why I Date Asian Women
Looks - I find Asian women very attractive. The Asian features, black hair, slender builds, golden skin, and Asian eyes are extremely appealing to me. I don't know why I have always liked the way Asian women look. Does any man know why he finds certain looks attractive? Why is the saying "gentleman prefer blondes" not held up to the same scrutiny as a White man who prefers Asian looks.
I think physical attraction is what separates the romantic relationship between a man and a woman from deep friendship so naturally in my love life I seek out women I am physically attracted to. However, physical attraction alone is not the end all, be all of a relationship. There are a host of other reasons why I like Asian women.
Culture - I have found that people are very skeptical of my love for the Asian people and the culture they have created. Because I date Asians they assume that any attempt to understand or appreciate Asian culture is strictly an attempt to impress Asian women. I have always admired the art, philosophy, and traditions of Asia. China and Japan have always held a certain appeal for me. Being a movie buff, I regularly watch movies made in Asia or movies about Asians. The politics of the region fascinate me; I have spent countless hours discussing the Chinese freedom movement with friends.
In my relationships with Asian women I find our cultural differences make a unique bond. In my relationships with Asian women I have found a symbiotic balance between harmony and individuality that I don't find in other relationships. I believe that Americans and Asians have much to teach each other.
Their Attraction to Me - I have never been able to explain this without sounding extremely arrogant. However, I think this is an issue few people are willing to discuss despite the fact that it is a major reason.
Like any man I have women who notice me. They send out signals, "vibes", or they flirt in some manner. More often than not the women who are attracted to me are Asian. When an Asian woman looks at me with attraction it fills me with a great sense of being a handsome man. I have never figured out if a disproportionate number of Asian women find me attractive, or if the ones that do simply express it in a way that I can understand and appreciate.
My theory is that within the Asian community there are a certain percentage (10-30%) who prefer white men. These women are tend to prefer a certain type of white man; they look for certain physical traits, ways of dressing, general demeanor etc... I think that I am in this category.
I don't think I am Gods gift to Asian women. Many Asian women don't even notice me. However, I have noticed that some Asian women have gone out of their way to meet me; they have approached me, or had a friend introduce them for no apparent reason. Sometimes they don't know anything about me. I have had white women do the same, but it is much rarer.
Loyalty - The Asian women I have dated were extremely loyal. Once they decided they liked you they stood by you (notice I did not say behind) in good times and bad. They were dedicated to making me the best man I could be.
Cultural Acceptance - I have found that dating an Asian Woman pretty widely accepted, far more than the other interracial couples I have seen. The barriers faced by other interracial couples seems much greater to me. My family and friends are fairly open to an Asian woman; dating a black or Hispanic woman would probably be a lot more awkward. This is not a reason in of itself, but it does make it easier to cross the racial divide.
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What's wrong with white women? Nothing, in fact many white women have qualities I describe above. In fact, I like some women who don't have those qualities.
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It's Not About Dominance
There is a notion that white men are attracted to Asian women because they can control her better. This has not been my experience. Most of the Asian women I have known in my life were educated, intelligent and had a high self esteem. I am not sure where this notion of Asian women as subservient little slaves came from; it is deeply embedded in our American mentality, and causes me a lot of grief from people who don't understand the AF/WM relationship.
One Sided Vision - People are strange creatures. They tend to believe something, then everything they see supports their belief. People tend to see any action an Asian woman does for her man as subservient, and ignore the same level from the (so called) dominant white man. Here is an example:
I agreed to change my girlfriends oil if she would do my laundry. I sat under her hot car in the Texas sun and loosened her drip pan and experienced the joy of having dirty motor oil spray on my head. An hour later I was finished, and as I got out of the shower she returned home with both our laundries (we folded them together.) A few weeks later I was at the laundry mat and the owner (Thai) came over and told me how lucky I was to have a Japanese girlfriend to do my laundry for me. He saw the image of this 5'2" woman carrying a bundle of laundry (hers and mine) into the laundry mat and assumed she was my little house servant.
The fact is my girlfriend didn't mind doing laundry, and I hated it. I on the other hand was fairly good with cars (when oil didn't explode on me) and didn't mind working on hers. We exchanged favors that day. Sometimes we would do something for each other without it being an exchange. We were both happy with the arrangement, and if she felt I wasn't doing my share she let me know! I would cook for her, or she would sew something. However, people always saw her actions as subservient, while being myopic about mine.
Speak Up - Another notion people have is that Asian women let White men have their way. They never demand anything, and always agree with the White man. All I can say is that these people have never dated the women I have. I have had my ear chewed off by enraged Asian girlfriends. The Asian women I have known are extremely powerful and demand that their men be the best they can be.
Asian Woman's Dominance - What is really ridiculous is that people will turn around in the same breath and talk about white men being on the leash with Asian women. About how Asian women "work their magic" on him and make him subservient to her. They cannot see that it is a partnership. My girlfriends and I were different from each other; the cultural and racial differences complimented each other and made us powerful partners.
Head of the Household - To be fair, I believe that there are white men out there who date Asian women so they can be in charge. The old-fashioned notion of the man as head of the family is being spurned by the American culture of today. Many men long for that. What most people forget is that many women long for that relationship as well.
I, and many other white men who date Asians do not long to be "master of the castle." However, many men do, and if the couple is happy with this arrangement then I have no problem with it. However, I do notice that when it is true with an Asian Woman and a White Man, people get very irritated by it. Far more than a mono racial couple.
Sick Relationships - One reason I made this page is because the internet is loaded with Asian Women porn sites. This propagates the notion that Asian Women with White Men is a deviant relationship based on a fetish (hence my taunting moniker Mr.. Asiaphile.) Certainly there are some sick relationships out there. Some of them are interracial, some are not. I do not believe that an Asian woman with a White man is inherently deviant.
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